I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
