She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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