This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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