one two three fourrrrnication!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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