Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
