walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize