I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize