Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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