No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
