i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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