You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize