i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
