my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
They have beer where we have blood.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize