Me too!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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