me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
