it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
