To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
