Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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