yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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