I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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