I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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