I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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