wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
