Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
