using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
