She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
