I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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