I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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