I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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