Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
