so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
be right there i have to get my cape
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
