She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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