he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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