Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize