Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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