Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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