And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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