You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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