Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
