Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
