hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
