Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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