Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
