we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You are a genius and a whore.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
