? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All the doctor said was why
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
