I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
