dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
did i walk over a car last night?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
