Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
