Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
