I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
