Screwed.edu
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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