One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
