i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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