i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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