how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
