guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize