ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize