Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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