you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This baby is an asshole
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
