getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
