Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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